Shiraz With Another
by m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing
Summary: Bernie is one month into her secondment in the Ukraine and desperately missing Serena. When a new colleague offers her a drink, she ends up spilling all she was trying to contain. Who knew one drink could mean so much?


**Result of a tired afternoon procrastinating my literature essay and suffering my brother's parents evening! Hope you like it :) -Sophie x**

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"So, Berenice, how was your shift?"

Bernie turned to see her temporary coworker Ivan stood in front of her desk, holding a deep red bottle and two glasses. She smiled.

"Ivan how many times, call me Bernie, please."

"No, I think Berenice suits you more." He smiled back and sat down next to her. The trauma unit had been up and running for a month now and things were going great. Going great, that is, except for the great gaping Serena-shaped hole in Bernie's life. The doctor awoke each morning, and when she realised she was alone her spirits would drop, and that's how it was each day. But Ivan made things easier.

"Would you like a drink? We have been busy today it seems." He nodded towards her as she yawned. Bernie grinned and nodded.

"Go on then. What's your poison?"

Ivan looked alarmed. "Um, poison? No this is alcohol Berenice I promise-"

He stopped when she started laughing. Confused, the consultant stared at her until she was quiet.

"No, it's an English saying Ivan- I meant what are we drinking."

"Oh!" His face brightened again. "Oh, okay. This was discounted at the supermarket, I have never had it before... I believe it is pronounced "Shiraz?"

Bernie froze. Shiraz... That drink had delicious memories attached to it. Memories of illicit drinks with the love of her life in their darkened office on AAU. Memories of watching Ms Campbell's eyes dance as she laughed, her lips part as she spoke, her chest rise and fall with every breath... Memories of falling for her, falling so fast for so long that she forgot she was falling at all.

"Berenice? Are you unwell?"

Bernie snapped out of her trance and looked to Ivan who furrowed his eyebrows.

"Are you unwell?" He repeated.

"No, no it's just... It's complicated. Too complicated to explain anyway."

"You are a surgeon Berenice, nothing is too complicated for you." He smiled. "Tell me."

"Oh, you don't want to hear about all that." She waved her hand and sat back in her chair. "How was your shift?"

Her colleague narrowed his eyes and slowly shook his head.

"Do not try and change the subject. Tell me or I will not allow you into theatre tomorrow."

Outraged, Bernie opened her mouth to object but Ivan quickly put his finger to her lips.

"Remember who is in charge here Berenice. Come on, tell me."

Indignantly, Bernie crossed her arms and looked at him. Ivan was a good guy; he'd taken the doctor under his wing and showed her the ways of Ukraine. Without him for the last month she would have been lost.

Even more lost than she already was.

"Fine. The drink, it brought back memories of my previous hospital, of home." She sighed, looking down, not being able to meet his eye.

"And?..." He pressed. Bernie looked up.

"What makes you think there's more?"

"Berenice, your cheeks are the colour of this Shiraz bottle. You drank this drink with someone, yes? Someone you cared about?"

He waited for an answer.

"...Yes."

Ivan grinned. "Now we are getting somewhere. Who was he?"

Bernie had been expecting this. Originally she wasn't planning on revealing to anyone her sexuality, or indeed her situation with Serena, but Ivan... He seemed trustworthy, kind- someone who wouldn't judge her. And obviously he wasn't going to let this go, so she sighed and poured herself a large glass of the deep red liquid.

"He was a she. Serena. My colleague, then my friend, now..." She took a deep breath. "Now the woman I... I-"

"-love?" Ivan prompted. Bernie downed the full glass of wine and started on another before answering.

"Yes." She said quietly. "The woman I... love."

"That is very sweet. Very sweet indeed." He smiled warmly and sipped at his own glass. "What is this Serena like?"

"Haha, well." Bernie couldn't help but grin, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "That's a loaded question Ivan."

"Go on, I am curious to know."

Bernie thought for a moment. How does she describe the woman who stole her heart? Who captured it and kept it and refuses to give it back?

"No no I can't." However the corners of her lips twitched, and it didn't go unnoticed by her colleague.

"Berenice, that smile, as you English say, "begs to differ"." Raising his eyebrows, he too sat back in his chair and waited for her to speak.

After a minute or so of silence, she spoke again, unsure at first. She fixed her gaze on the slightly scuffed floor beneath her feet.

"Serena is... amazing. Lovely. Always manages to make me laugh. Her eyes, they're captivating, and she has such a warm personality, like a warm crackling fire on a cold and wintry evening. Bright and beautiful yet still ferocious, in her own delightful way. She has a feisty side, and there's always a quip on the end of that sharp tongue of hers. I'd say she's like the stars, but she's the kind of woman the skies can't contain."

There was silence when she finished speaking. Bernie could feel her cheeks burning, and all of a sudden she felt a fool. Why had she just spilled the contents of her heart to a man she barely knew?

"Berenice, that was... enchanting." Ivan said eventually. "She must be a very special lady. And a lucky lady too, to have your heart so firmly in her grasp."

Bernie looked up, surprised. "You think so?"

"Yes! I do. Does she know all of this you just told me?"

"No, no. I, she- well we..." Bernie faltered before sighing, sipping at her wine. "Like I said, it's complicated."

"She does not like you back?"

"Oh yes she does, yes. We... we kissed, twice actually, and she told me she... she loves me. But you see, she isn't like me. She wasn't like me. I'm the first woman she's ever... Oh this is silly, ignore me. Can we talk about something else?"

"Berenice, listen to me. You are a brilliant doctor, even better surgeon and a wonderful person. Why are you so afraid?"

Her eyes snapped to his. "Who said I was afraid?"

Ivan let out a short laugh. "Berenice it is obvious. Look at yourself."

The doctor crossed her arms. "Excuse me Dr Sevchenko?"

"You're afraid of love. It took you minutes to finally say the word, for the sake of god." He glared at her.

"It's "For god's sakes"." Bernie muttered, but Ivan carried on.

"Berenice you deserve love. Throw to one side whatever it is that you are thinking and accept it. Is that why you are here? Because you are running from your happiness?" He paused, but Bernie didn't reply. That was all Ivan needed.

"I thought so. Stop making her suffer, Berenice. Because I can tell you right now that your Serena will be sat at home or work or wherever she might be, thinking of you and missing you. If you are the first lady she has loved then she will be falling apart back in England, doubting herself and everything that she is. And I can guess that you have not contacted her since your arrival here?"

Slowly Bernie shook her head, growing weary and aware of what she had done.

"I thought not. When we are finished talking Berenice, call her on the telephone. Send her an e-mail. Write her a letter, anything. Tell her everything that you just told me. And you will feel better, whole, and at peace with yourself. Trust me."

He finished speaking and stood up, pushing the phone towards her before walking away.

"Ivan." She called, her voice cracking despite her best intentions. He turned as he opened the door.

"Thank you. I... I needed that." She smiled. From the doorway Ivan nodded his head and smiled back before leaving.

Taking a deep breath, Bernie looked to the phone. She downed the rest of the Shiraz before picking up the receiver and dialling the magic number.


End file.
